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The Raingod Review presents Euro Ruffs 2016 – National Lampoons European Vacation Part 4 - Group D

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RuffiansFC Player
Slovenia – EFC1987
Huge confusion over which central European team actually is taking part but as Slovakia aren’t in FIFA 16 it falls to Slovenia to do the business.  IRL lost in the playoffs to Ukraine and lowly ranking will cause MickeyB a bit of a problem. He didn’t take part in the Ruff World Cup but took Sweden in the last Euro Ruffs but failed to get out the group.

If they were a film:  Fantastic Four (2015) – reboot of the franchise with relatively unknown actors in the lead parts, ultimately a poor and messy film.

FIFA World Ranking: 57
Key Players: Milivoje Novaković; 37 year old striker past his best but their main threat; Kevin Kampl, midfield dynamo.

Group Prediction: 4th
Finals Prediction: Out first Round
Bookies Say: 500/1

Czech Republic – KevinFAI1985
Yet another unknown quantity, could be another friend of Womble’s although I’m now not sure if these aren’t plants by Stew to take out his opponents, and I have it on good authority that Kev is an Arsenal fan…so you draw your conclusions. Drawn with one of the biggest overachieving teams in the qualification process IRL.  Beat the Dutch home and away and led by an aged free agent they might struggle however in this group.

If they were a film: The Expendables 2 – ancient mercenary leads a band of warriors on a revenge mission against a mad Belgian. (Only problem is they can’t rely on Chuck Norris to turn up and save their asses).

FIFA World Ranking: 30
Key Players: Tomas Rosicky; captain, cruelly tossed aside by Arsenal at the end of the season;  Petr Cech, goalkeeper, cruely signed by Arsenal last season.

Group Prediction: 2nd
Finals Prediction: Quarter Finals.
Bookies Say: 250/1

Italy – pgtips77
They have lost most of their stars, either through retiral or bampottery.  Led by an ancient Tuscan gladiator in the form of Goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon, this is a rebuilding Italian team.  PG is more at home on the asphalt than the green stuff although he did take Mexico to the second round in the Ruff World Cup.

If they were a film: Star Trek: Generations -  handover film from the original crew of the Enterprise to the next generation, doesn’t go smoothly at all.

FIFA World Ranking: 12
Key Players: Daniele De Rossi, lynchpin defensive midfielder with a wealth of experience; Graziano Pelle, Southampton striker with one too many ls in his name.

Group Prediction: 3rd
Finals Prediction: Unluckily out First Round.
Bookies Say: 33/1

Belgium – Coyote Cub
Fast becoming the perennial underachievers of world football, the Belgians have a dizzying array of talent which never quite lives up to the billing.  Cub lost to Mike in the quarter finals of the Ruff World Cup with Cameroon, so on paper better team he might go further this time.

If they were a film: New Year’s Eve – glittering array of stars play out a series of vignettes which add up to an awful film.

FIFA World Ranking: 2
Key Players: Eden Hazard, supremely talented midfield maestro who has been shit for a year; Kevin De Bruyne; mercurial winger who has lost the ability to cross the ball.

Group Prediction: 1st
Finals Prediction: Quarter Finals
Bookies Say: 12/1

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