Team Hope & Glory
The Drivers
T3RRAF0RM (2) and RaingodZippo (7)
Some might say this is the dream team we have all been waiting for...others might just spit out their coffee while stifling a guffaw at the mere suggestion. However what we have here are the first and second placed drivers from Nürburgring so there is a buzz about the Team Hope & Glory camp. Only problem is that this is a sprint competition in comparison and the war of attrition that ensued in the German forest which certainly favoured Raingod, is unlikely to happen this time.
But with both drivers coming to form at the right time they must be in with a chance of the team championship.
The car
2007 Honda Civic Type R
Previous versions of the Civic were more famous for being driven by little old ladies on a Sunday day out (Stew you missed an opportunity here the 2004 Civic was available), but this futuristic (for 2007) beast, built in Swindon, turned heads and found a new following with a more youthful audience. Arguably the best car on display here... “Forward progress is provided by a powerful 2-litre motor, with refined responsiveness due to a new drive-by-wire throttle. The new bodywork is both more aggressive and more aerodynamic, cutting through the air and looking good all the while.”... 100% British (well almost), should provide a solid platform for Team Hope& Glory’s bid for ... err well Glory.
Team Prediction: 1st
T3ERRAF0RM Prediction: 1st
RaingodZippo Prediction: 6th
Rated PG
The Drivers
Darkestfrost (4) and PGTips77 (6)
Now much will depend on 3 things: (1) Which Darkest will turn up on each of the races – the speedy, determined one who won the last race of the Endurance season or the accident prone, under practiced one who showed up at Nürburg. (2) Can PG win the battle of the Three Amigos and (3) will their Spanish Volkswagon hold up to the rigours of the championship. If (1) is the first, (2) and (3) are yes then they will have a great chance of the championship and Dark must be among the favourites for the title.
The Car
2010 Seat Leon Cupra R
It’s a Golf in a matador’s outfit. Built in Spain – by Spaniards – it looks OK but with the instruction manual in German has it been put together properly. Doesn’t even make the Forza 4 website for a description...were they trying to hide it? One of the newest cars in the pack, and it has an “R” at the end...err...reliability low...latin flair high (tempered by German mechanics)...brakes could be an issue (oh wait that has nothing to do with the car.)
Team Prediction: 2nd
Darkestfrost Prediction: 4th
PGTips Prediction: 7th
FUBAR Racing
The Drivers
BoosterDQ26 (3) and Ruffian Stew (11)
Booster has shown over the last few races that he has the speed to do well, very unlucky at Nürburg to crash out after a titanic battle with T3RRA, although not as unlucky as his draw of teammates this time out. Miss Daisy has been firmly back in the rear seat of Ruffian’s car recently, although as in the tale of the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady sometimes gets you there. Unfortunately as with Raingod, this is more of a sprint than a marathon, so could be a problem for the skipper.
The car
2010 VW Golf GTI MK6
Back in 1976 the Golf GTI burst onto the scene as THE hot hatchback, by 2010 it has become a bit of a tired cliché, “Following criticism of the downgraded interior trim quality of the Mk5 Golf in comparison to the Mk4, Volkswagen opted to overhaul the interior to match the quality with the Mk4 Golf, while maintaining the same user friendliness from the Mk5. The car is also cheaper to build than its predecessor”, so cheap and comfortable, at least Miss Daisy will be happy.
Team Prediction: 5th
BoosterDQ26 Prediction: 4th
Ruffian Stew Prediction: 13th
Safety Car Racing
The Drivers
The Mehwarrior2 (1) and IcemanD18 (9)
On paper Meh is favourite for the championship. It’s his idea (so he clearly knows something), and he is the reigning Forza Endurance Champion. Was unlucky at Nürburg and won’t want to be reminded that Stew beat him (oops!). However is saddled with an American car and we all know they can’t go round corners and explode at the slightest bump. His teammate, pumped by his podium finish at The Ring, Ice will be flying (straight into a flaming fireball on the second corner), but at least he should beat his arch nemesis and fellow steward Ruff.
The Car
2010 Chevrolet Cobalt SS
So bad they stopped producing it in America and shifted production to Brazil in 2011 (probably to stop all the lawsuits building up from occupants horribly maimed in accidents). Crumples like a tinfoil boat if looked at in the wrong way. Like all American cars powered by a small nuclear reactor with brake pads made from an unstable mix of nitro-glycerine and C4 and probably with concealed machine guns, if it makes 10 laps the drivers will probably need to be decontaminated.
“American manufacturers haven’t always nailed small, sporty cars, but the Cobalt is a true competitor to the best from Japan and Europe.”...err no it isn’t.
Team Prediction: 4th
The MehWarrior2 Prediction: 3rd
IcemanD18 Prediction: 11th
TOCA Legends
The Drivers
Mikethemute (5) and Wackybar8 (10)
Mike has developed a rather accident prone reputation recently and while speed is not in doubt, finishing without rolling his car is. If he can take this trend out of his game he should do well. Seems to have nailed it on the time-trial; now for some cars on the track. Wacky will no doubt continue his fight for midfield dominance and will be heartened by finishing above PG last time out. Can he overhaul Raingod and become Top Amigo this time...could be his turn.
The Car
2006 Ford Focus ST
This is the one that only came in that awful orange colour...well it seemed like that anyway. What can I say, it’s a Ford Focus...the most common car on British roads for the past 15 years. Designed and built in Germany this version of the Focus boasts a 2.5l engine and in case you were wondering; “ST stands for “Sport Technologies,” and the Focus packs plenty of those.” So does that mean you get a physio in the back to help with controller claw in long races. Maybe a mechanic would be better as reliability isn’t the car’s strong suit.
Team Prediction: 3rd
Mikethemute Prediction: 2nd
Wackybar8 Prediciton: 8th
(TBA)
The Drivers
Womblemk3 (12) and thetaffman (8 )
Consistency is a necessity to win both driver and team championship and this team have not had the best of records on that score. Both Womble and Taff have shown flashes of brilliance and the ability to score points, however neither has been able to do this race-in-race-out. Should they be able to reverse that trend then the top of the leaderboard could look quite different, but only time will tell on that one.
The Car
2009 BMW 135i Coupe
Only recently surpassed by Audi, BMW hold the record for the most wan***s to drive their cars in any given time period. You could be guaranteed if you were being tailgated, cut up, blocked in or generally abused on the road, the moron doing so would be at the wheel of one of these. Driven by accountants, bankers and gangsters I am not sure why a BMW is even allowed in the race. (Apologies to the 3 genuinely nice BMW owners in Britain but it’s time to switch to a better car...have you tried a Volkswagen Beetle?).
Team Predicition: 6th
Womble Prediction: 9th
Tafman Predicition: 10th
Shake N Bake
The Drivers
SMB91 (13) and Nash Effect77 (14)
The Raingod Review doesn’t like new drivers, partly because we are xenophobic hermits who don’t like change, but also because the Einsteinian theory of Egg on the Face states that “predictions based on no knowledge are likely to come back and bite your bum.” So we welcome SMB91 into the Ruffian Rabble and, since he is young and from Norfolk (therefore he will drive fast and is used to flat ground) he will probably do pretty well. Nash returns after missing the Nürburgring and will hope to beat Stew this time, meanwhile at Castle RuffSkull, Miss Daisy will be plotting to make sure Nash finishes behind him again.
The Car
2010 Kia Forte Koup SX
Has taken a fair amount of digging for the Raingod Review to find out the make of the late entry team’s car, however no expense was spared in dodgy P.I.s (although not Magnum or Hong Kong Phooey) to uncover the secret.
Now you won’t see many, if any of these in the UK as they are only available in Russia and the Ukraine in Europe, as the Cee’d is so similar in size. So a completely unknown quantity, a bit like the number one driver. (The Raingod Review believes this may be some sort of betting scandal cooked up by nefarious Bernie Eccleston like figures in the background. – look at the facts – this team is called Shake N Bake – a team name used by said shadowy figure(s) in the past; the new driver (is it really Michael Schumacher, the Stig or Bawkicker); the unknown car – is it really a Lamborghini in a South Korean body shell which is only available to Russian Billionaires?) You decide.
Team Prediction: 7th
SMB91 Prediction: 12th
Nash Effect77 Prediction: 14th
* These assume all of the above conspiracy theories are incorrect else 1st, 1st and 2nd.
The Drivers
T3RRAF0RM (2) and RaingodZippo (7)
Some might say this is the dream team we have all been waiting for...others might just spit out their coffee while stifling a guffaw at the mere suggestion. However what we have here are the first and second placed drivers from Nürburgring so there is a buzz about the Team Hope & Glory camp. Only problem is that this is a sprint competition in comparison and the war of attrition that ensued in the German forest which certainly favoured Raingod, is unlikely to happen this time.
But with both drivers coming to form at the right time they must be in with a chance of the team championship.
The car
2007 Honda Civic Type R
Previous versions of the Civic were more famous for being driven by little old ladies on a Sunday day out (Stew you missed an opportunity here the 2004 Civic was available), but this futuristic (for 2007) beast, built in Swindon, turned heads and found a new following with a more youthful audience. Arguably the best car on display here... “Forward progress is provided by a powerful 2-litre motor, with refined responsiveness due to a new drive-by-wire throttle. The new bodywork is both more aggressive and more aerodynamic, cutting through the air and looking good all the while.”... 100% British (well almost), should provide a solid platform for Team Hope& Glory’s bid for ... err well Glory.
Team Prediction: 1st
T3ERRAF0RM Prediction: 1st
RaingodZippo Prediction: 6th
Rated PG
The Drivers
Darkestfrost (4) and PGTips77 (6)
Now much will depend on 3 things: (1) Which Darkest will turn up on each of the races – the speedy, determined one who won the last race of the Endurance season or the accident prone, under practiced one who showed up at Nürburg. (2) Can PG win the battle of the Three Amigos and (3) will their Spanish Volkswagon hold up to the rigours of the championship. If (1) is the first, (2) and (3) are yes then they will have a great chance of the championship and Dark must be among the favourites for the title.
The Car
2010 Seat Leon Cupra R
It’s a Golf in a matador’s outfit. Built in Spain – by Spaniards – it looks OK but with the instruction manual in German has it been put together properly. Doesn’t even make the Forza 4 website for a description...were they trying to hide it? One of the newest cars in the pack, and it has an “R” at the end...err...reliability low...latin flair high (tempered by German mechanics)...brakes could be an issue (oh wait that has nothing to do with the car.)
Team Prediction: 2nd
Darkestfrost Prediction: 4th
PGTips Prediction: 7th
FUBAR Racing
The Drivers
BoosterDQ26 (3) and Ruffian Stew (11)
Booster has shown over the last few races that he has the speed to do well, very unlucky at Nürburg to crash out after a titanic battle with T3RRA, although not as unlucky as his draw of teammates this time out. Miss Daisy has been firmly back in the rear seat of Ruffian’s car recently, although as in the tale of the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady sometimes gets you there. Unfortunately as with Raingod, this is more of a sprint than a marathon, so could be a problem for the skipper.
The car
2010 VW Golf GTI MK6
Back in 1976 the Golf GTI burst onto the scene as THE hot hatchback, by 2010 it has become a bit of a tired cliché, “Following criticism of the downgraded interior trim quality of the Mk5 Golf in comparison to the Mk4, Volkswagen opted to overhaul the interior to match the quality with the Mk4 Golf, while maintaining the same user friendliness from the Mk5. The car is also cheaper to build than its predecessor”, so cheap and comfortable, at least Miss Daisy will be happy.
Team Prediction: 5th
BoosterDQ26 Prediction: 4th
Ruffian Stew Prediction: 13th
Safety Car Racing
The Drivers
The Mehwarrior2 (1) and IcemanD18 (9)
On paper Meh is favourite for the championship. It’s his idea (so he clearly knows something), and he is the reigning Forza Endurance Champion. Was unlucky at Nürburg and won’t want to be reminded that Stew beat him (oops!). However is saddled with an American car and we all know they can’t go round corners and explode at the slightest bump. His teammate, pumped by his podium finish at The Ring, Ice will be flying (straight into a flaming fireball on the second corner), but at least he should beat his arch nemesis and fellow steward Ruff.
The Car
2010 Chevrolet Cobalt SS
So bad they stopped producing it in America and shifted production to Brazil in 2011 (probably to stop all the lawsuits building up from occupants horribly maimed in accidents). Crumples like a tinfoil boat if looked at in the wrong way. Like all American cars powered by a small nuclear reactor with brake pads made from an unstable mix of nitro-glycerine and C4 and probably with concealed machine guns, if it makes 10 laps the drivers will probably need to be decontaminated.
“American manufacturers haven’t always nailed small, sporty cars, but the Cobalt is a true competitor to the best from Japan and Europe.”...err no it isn’t.
Team Prediction: 4th
The MehWarrior2 Prediction: 3rd
IcemanD18 Prediction: 11th
TOCA Legends
The Drivers
Mikethemute (5) and Wackybar8 (10)
Mike has developed a rather accident prone reputation recently and while speed is not in doubt, finishing without rolling his car is. If he can take this trend out of his game he should do well. Seems to have nailed it on the time-trial; now for some cars on the track. Wacky will no doubt continue his fight for midfield dominance and will be heartened by finishing above PG last time out. Can he overhaul Raingod and become Top Amigo this time...could be his turn.
The Car
2006 Ford Focus ST
This is the one that only came in that awful orange colour...well it seemed like that anyway. What can I say, it’s a Ford Focus...the most common car on British roads for the past 15 years. Designed and built in Germany this version of the Focus boasts a 2.5l engine and in case you were wondering; “ST stands for “Sport Technologies,” and the Focus packs plenty of those.” So does that mean you get a physio in the back to help with controller claw in long races. Maybe a mechanic would be better as reliability isn’t the car’s strong suit.
Team Prediction: 3rd
Mikethemute Prediction: 2nd
Wackybar8 Prediciton: 8th
(TBA)
The Drivers
Womblemk3 (12) and thetaffman (8 )
Consistency is a necessity to win both driver and team championship and this team have not had the best of records on that score. Both Womble and Taff have shown flashes of brilliance and the ability to score points, however neither has been able to do this race-in-race-out. Should they be able to reverse that trend then the top of the leaderboard could look quite different, but only time will tell on that one.
The Car
2009 BMW 135i Coupe
Only recently surpassed by Audi, BMW hold the record for the most wan***s to drive their cars in any given time period. You could be guaranteed if you were being tailgated, cut up, blocked in or generally abused on the road, the moron doing so would be at the wheel of one of these. Driven by accountants, bankers and gangsters I am not sure why a BMW is even allowed in the race. (Apologies to the 3 genuinely nice BMW owners in Britain but it’s time to switch to a better car...have you tried a Volkswagen Beetle?).
Team Predicition: 6th
Womble Prediction: 9th
Tafman Predicition: 10th
Shake N Bake
The Drivers
SMB91 (13) and Nash Effect77 (14)
The Raingod Review doesn’t like new drivers, partly because we are xenophobic hermits who don’t like change, but also because the Einsteinian theory of Egg on the Face states that “predictions based on no knowledge are likely to come back and bite your bum.” So we welcome SMB91 into the Ruffian Rabble and, since he is young and from Norfolk (therefore he will drive fast and is used to flat ground) he will probably do pretty well. Nash returns after missing the Nürburgring and will hope to beat Stew this time, meanwhile at Castle RuffSkull, Miss Daisy will be plotting to make sure Nash finishes behind him again.
The Car
2010 Kia Forte Koup SX
Has taken a fair amount of digging for the Raingod Review to find out the make of the late entry team’s car, however no expense was spared in dodgy P.I.s (although not Magnum or Hong Kong Phooey) to uncover the secret.
Now you won’t see many, if any of these in the UK as they are only available in Russia and the Ukraine in Europe, as the Cee’d is so similar in size. So a completely unknown quantity, a bit like the number one driver. (The Raingod Review believes this may be some sort of betting scandal cooked up by nefarious Bernie Eccleston like figures in the background. – look at the facts – this team is called Shake N Bake – a team name used by said shadowy figure(s) in the past; the new driver (is it really Michael Schumacher, the Stig or Bawkicker); the unknown car – is it really a Lamborghini in a South Korean body shell which is only available to Russian Billionaires?) You decide.
Team Prediction: 7th
SMB91 Prediction: 12th
Nash Effect77 Prediction: 14th
* These assume all of the above conspiracy theories are incorrect else 1st, 1st and 2nd.
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