In the final part of the review we look at the group with the team of the guy Prince Phillip likened to Adolf Hitler – yes Ruffian Stew.
England – Sykokill3r
I am contractually obliged as a Scotsman to hope this particular team loses all three games and is on the plane home before anyone on TV mentions 1966. Actually a pretty talented squad with a solid defence and some exciting young talent. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did well. This might depend on Sykokill3r’s ability, unknown quantity so we will need to wait and see if its 3 Lions or Turnips at the end of the day.
Key Players: Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard
If they were a car: a Mark 1 Ford Cortina. This stylish English made sports saloon was king of its class in the mid 60s but is now seen as a relic of a bygone age.
Group Prediction: 1st
Finals Prediction: Quarter Finals
Russia – RuffianStew
Team run by an egotistical maniac whose rule of iron knows no bounds. Expect lots of offsides. The Russians are not blessed with many household names outside Vladivostok. Could find it very difficult to progress from this group. Stew has put a ban on custom teams in the competition, but on past form he will probably exclude himself from this.
Key Players: Rasputtin, Dr. Zhivago
If they were a car: a Lada Riva. About as easy on the eye as a brick. Based on an Italian model, never really been the same since the breakup of the USSR.
Group Prediction: 4th
Finals Prediction: Sent to a Siberian gulag
Uruguay – WombleMK3
If Portugal are a one man band then Uruguay are a solo artist stranded on a desert island 3000 miles from civilisation. In short if Luis Suarez turns up they will do well if not its good night Montevideo. Womble will need to be at his best here as there are dangers lurking from all three oponents.
Key Players: Luis Suarez, Diego Forlan
If they were a car: the amphibious Lotus Esprit from the Spy Who Loved Me. Eyecatching team driven by a charismatic genius and at its best when diving.
Group Prediction: 3rd
Finals Prediction: Out first Round
Korean Republic – the MehWarrior
Expect tantrums and rage quits with shouts of “No way!!” as Meh has drawn the duds of the competition. Seriously if Meh plays to his full potential even the Korean limitations won’t stop him. Some stars (mainly named Park) but seriously lacking in all departments the Koreans look as shakey as Vincente Del Bosques coat peg does at the moment.
Key Players: Son Heung-Min, Chung-Yong Lee
If they were a car: Mater from Cars. Fond of the agricultural stuff but also harmless and everyone loves them.
Group Prediction: 2nd
Finals Prediction: Second Round
England – Sykokill3r
I am contractually obliged as a Scotsman to hope this particular team loses all three games and is on the plane home before anyone on TV mentions 1966. Actually a pretty talented squad with a solid defence and some exciting young talent. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did well. This might depend on Sykokill3r’s ability, unknown quantity so we will need to wait and see if its 3 Lions or Turnips at the end of the day.
Key Players: Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard
If they were a car: a Mark 1 Ford Cortina. This stylish English made sports saloon was king of its class in the mid 60s but is now seen as a relic of a bygone age.
Group Prediction: 1st
Finals Prediction: Quarter Finals
Russia – RuffianStew
Team run by an egotistical maniac whose rule of iron knows no bounds. Expect lots of offsides. The Russians are not blessed with many household names outside Vladivostok. Could find it very difficult to progress from this group. Stew has put a ban on custom teams in the competition, but on past form he will probably exclude himself from this.
Key Players: Rasputtin, Dr. Zhivago
If they were a car: a Lada Riva. About as easy on the eye as a brick. Based on an Italian model, never really been the same since the breakup of the USSR.
Group Prediction: 4th
Finals Prediction: Sent to a Siberian gulag
Uruguay – WombleMK3
If Portugal are a one man band then Uruguay are a solo artist stranded on a desert island 3000 miles from civilisation. In short if Luis Suarez turns up they will do well if not its good night Montevideo. Womble will need to be at his best here as there are dangers lurking from all three oponents.
Key Players: Luis Suarez, Diego Forlan
If they were a car: the amphibious Lotus Esprit from the Spy Who Loved Me. Eyecatching team driven by a charismatic genius and at its best when diving.
Group Prediction: 3rd
Finals Prediction: Out first Round
Korean Republic – the MehWarrior
Expect tantrums and rage quits with shouts of “No way!!” as Meh has drawn the duds of the competition. Seriously if Meh plays to his full potential even the Korean limitations won’t stop him. Some stars (mainly named Park) but seriously lacking in all departments the Koreans look as shakey as Vincente Del Bosques coat peg does at the moment.
Key Players: Son Heung-Min, Chung-Yong Lee
If they were a car: Mater from Cars. Fond of the agricultural stuff but also harmless and everyone loves them.
Group Prediction: 2nd
Finals Prediction: Second Round