Spain – Wackybar
The jury is split, are Spain the force they have been over the past 6 years or are they on a downward spiral. Well the fact two Spanish teams reached the Champions League Final with half of this squad taking part speaks volumes, however so does the fact that Barcelona, the blue print for the Spanish renaissance, came away trophyless this season. Time will tell if they are still the slick passing thoroughbreds of Don Quixote or the knackered old donkey of Sancho Panza.
Key Players: Diego Costa (they have to rely on Brazilians now), Andres Iniesta
If they were a car: James Bond’s Aston Martin DB5. Sleek, smooth and lovely to look at but getting on a bit and now everyone knows where all the tricks are.
Group Prediction: 2nd
Finals Prediction: Quarter Finals
Switzerland – Mikethemute
Now here are the darkest horses to have popped up since Black Beauty. The class of 2009 U17 World Cup Winners has matured with Rodriguez, Xhaka and Seferovic have now all broken through to the full squad. Add to that the man who is the rock of playing “any” (well one of them) for Ruffians FC; there is a very good chance we will be subjected to cuckoo clocks and painful to eat pointy chocolate deep into the tournament.
Key Players: Stephan Lichtsteiner; Philippe Senderos
If they were a car: Ferrari 458 Spider. One of the ultimate dark (and prancing) horses but jazzed up for a new generation.
Group Prediction: 1st
Finals Prediction: Runner-up
Cameroon – Coyote Cub
They almost always qualify for the World Cup Finals, but have won only 1 game since the Roger Milla inspired drive to the Quarter Finals in Italia 90. Like then they rely on an aging striker who could be anything between 33 and 53 and scored 12 goals for Chelsea this season without actually breaking into a jog. Coyote doesn’t have a track record with Ruffians and in a group with a Ruffians stalwart and arguably the best team in the world he might struggle.
Key Players: Samuel Eto’o, err…that’s it.
If they were a car: Del Boy’s Robin Reliant van. Iconic, much-loved but looking frayed around the edges and prone to surviving off past glories.
Group Prediction: 4th
Finals Prediction: First Round Elimination I’m afraid
Mexico – PGTips
OK firstly how did Stew manage not to draw Raingod in this group with the other 2 Amigos? Secondly can Mexico shrug off the image of being more famous for their mind-bending kits than their football. Always good for an overconfident prediction of achievement and a failure to deliver it is difficult to judge as most of the team play at home in Mexico and no one outside Mexico watches them. PG will battle hard, as he always does, but might struggle against Spain and Switzerland.
Key Players: Javier Hernandez, Rafael Marquez
If they were a car: any convertible going but most likely a second-hand one bought just across the border. Mainly because these temperamental so-and-sos need a cool wind blowing through their hot heads.
Group Prediction: 3rd
Finals Prediction: Second Round
The jury is split, are Spain the force they have been over the past 6 years or are they on a downward spiral. Well the fact two Spanish teams reached the Champions League Final with half of this squad taking part speaks volumes, however so does the fact that Barcelona, the blue print for the Spanish renaissance, came away trophyless this season. Time will tell if they are still the slick passing thoroughbreds of Don Quixote or the knackered old donkey of Sancho Panza.
Key Players: Diego Costa (they have to rely on Brazilians now), Andres Iniesta
If they were a car: James Bond’s Aston Martin DB5. Sleek, smooth and lovely to look at but getting on a bit and now everyone knows where all the tricks are.
Group Prediction: 2nd
Finals Prediction: Quarter Finals
Switzerland – Mikethemute
Now here are the darkest horses to have popped up since Black Beauty. The class of 2009 U17 World Cup Winners has matured with Rodriguez, Xhaka and Seferovic have now all broken through to the full squad. Add to that the man who is the rock of playing “any” (well one of them) for Ruffians FC; there is a very good chance we will be subjected to cuckoo clocks and painful to eat pointy chocolate deep into the tournament.
Key Players: Stephan Lichtsteiner; Philippe Senderos
If they were a car: Ferrari 458 Spider. One of the ultimate dark (and prancing) horses but jazzed up for a new generation.
Group Prediction: 1st
Finals Prediction: Runner-up
Cameroon – Coyote Cub
They almost always qualify for the World Cup Finals, but have won only 1 game since the Roger Milla inspired drive to the Quarter Finals in Italia 90. Like then they rely on an aging striker who could be anything between 33 and 53 and scored 12 goals for Chelsea this season without actually breaking into a jog. Coyote doesn’t have a track record with Ruffians and in a group with a Ruffians stalwart and arguably the best team in the world he might struggle.
Key Players: Samuel Eto’o, err…that’s it.
If they were a car: Del Boy’s Robin Reliant van. Iconic, much-loved but looking frayed around the edges and prone to surviving off past glories.
Group Prediction: 4th
Finals Prediction: First Round Elimination I’m afraid
Mexico – PGTips
OK firstly how did Stew manage not to draw Raingod in this group with the other 2 Amigos? Secondly can Mexico shrug off the image of being more famous for their mind-bending kits than their football. Always good for an overconfident prediction of achievement and a failure to deliver it is difficult to judge as most of the team play at home in Mexico and no one outside Mexico watches them. PG will battle hard, as he always does, but might struggle against Spain and Switzerland.
Key Players: Javier Hernandez, Rafael Marquez
If they were a car: any convertible going but most likely a second-hand one bought just across the border. Mainly because these temperamental so-and-sos need a cool wind blowing through their hot heads.
Group Prediction: 3rd
Finals Prediction: Second Round
