UPDATE 03/06/13
At the risk of incurring the Wrath of Baw (a bit like the Wrath of Khan without the stick-on plastic chest) I have spent my lonely hours providing a pen portrait of the drivers for this years Championship. Appologies for any wrong facts (except to Baw and Stew - all those facts are correct).
Team: D2 Racing (the Mighty Ducks): Defending Ruff 1 Team Champions
Mikethemute: Age: 28
Defending Ruff 1 Champion
Location: England
As happy playing “any” on FIFA for Ruffians FC as he is thwarting DarkestFrost on F1 or Forza. Likes green things and driving fast. Equally at home driving “live” or in time trials, could be pushed by the usual suspects and some unknown quantities but starts as favourite to retain the title.
Prediction: 1st
RaingodZippo: Age: 47
Location: Scotland
Veteran, by any sense of the word, Ruffian, equally middling at most racers (except WRC 3 at which he is shit) but due to perseverance somehow managed to finish 3rd in the last Ruff 1 Championship. Suspect at Live races and specifically targeted by the masked assassin for comments made, will struggle to repeat performance.
Prediction: 9th
Team: Darkbar Racing
DarkestFrost: Age: 33
Location: England
Essex boy racer, Championship Runner-up and the only other F1 Race winner last season besides Mike. Accident prone, usually with walls at Monaco or with RaingodZippo. Legendary Ruffians FC Goalkeeper and famous for Friday night drunken gaming, standing while gaming and falling asleep (sometimes standing up). Might struggle to retain second place with the new blood in the lineup, but if he can stay on the tarmac and out of the walls should do well.
Prediction: 4th
Wackybar: Age: Unknown
Location: England
One of only two drivers to compete in and finish all races last season (RaingodZippo was the other). Highlight was the 3rd place finish at Monaco. As close to Raingod as Dark was to Mike which made the Team championships so interesting. Should fair well this season, but constantly needs to watch out for dirty tactics from one fellow racer, who takes exception to him being a Spurs fan.
Prediction: 7th
Team: CTD Racing (Crash Test Dummies)
The MehWarrior2 Age: 20
Location: England
Unbelievably this is the Rookie season in Ruff 1 for the very fast Meh. Bothering the top of the leaderboards and leaving everyone in his dust on almost every other racer (or his white smoke on one occasion in Forza). Big question is, will he adapt to F1? Also, as the arch-nemesis of the Baw, he will need to be careful when lapping (doubt the masked one will be keeping up with him) or he might see more crash barriers than podiums.
Prediction: 2nd EDIT: Looks like Meh will miss the first race at least as CTD have failed to secure funding for a second car, I would offer to lend him mine but I don't think a Fiat Punto would cut it here.
Iceman18 Age: 23
Location: England
Possibly named after the Val Kilmer character in the rather homo-erotic Top Gun, this former airline pilot (yes he is only 23), certainly knows how to go fast. Whether he can drive fast is a different matter. Consistent in Forza, did trouble the front of the races in WRC3, but rookie at F1 so difficult to know if he can keep up that form. However as he is one of the Stewards he is a great guy.
Prediction: 10th (but he will miss races due to holidays)
Team: Sack Slashers
Ruffian Stew Age:33
Location: England
Titular leader of the Ruffian Rabble, devotee of the Driving Miss Daisy school of motor vehicle racing. Enigmatic Captain and left-winger of Ruffians FC, what more can be said about The Ruff. Without him we would all probably have lives. Ever hopeful, Stew takes part in every race of every competition and usually finishes the races...err...that’s it. Oh, finished 6th last season.
Prediction: 13th (unlucky for him)
Bawkicker Age:Unknown and best not to ask
Location: Unknown (but in a dungeon usually)
Some say he is the ancient Mayan god of violence, I am unable to repeat what others say about him, all we know is he is called Bawkicker. He never speaks (well Meh claims to have heard him once but we don’t believe him), he always joins Xbox live parties though and sits like a menacing presence in the background (imagine Hannibal Lecter in a soundproof booth). Equally capable of acts of extreme violence and expert timing on FIFA, his driving is...err...somewhat less than perfect. Has an irrational dislike of Raingod and Meh and isn’t too fond of anyone else for that matter. Rookie at F1. Hasn’t yet looked at an F1 car so unlikely to finish many races, really depends who he takes with him.
Prediction: 16th EDIT: Now has access to what is basically an unguided missile on 4 wheels...god help us all.
Team: Team Skidmark
T3ERRAF0RM Age: 37
Location: England
Another Rookie who has form in other racers. Organiser of all things Cranky racing and competitor in Forza and WRC3 to name but 2 here in Ruffland. Consistent in all racers, could pose a threat to any podium this season, depending on others’ fortunes. Talks a good game – he knows what fuel mapping is.
Prediction: 5th
thetaffman Age: Unknown
Location: England (but I presume he is Welsh)
Newest member of the Ruffian Rabble. Unknown quantity. Difficult to assess as I have never seen him drive, play football or take part in anything else. Best of luck to him. I hope Baw doesn’t have an irrational hatred of Welsh people (although he doesn’t like change and new members are change.)EDIT (Worrying signs have appeared in the Welcome Mat entry for thetaffman, either Baw has found religion or there are more sinister forces at work.)
Prediction: 11th
Team: Nub Nub Racing
Pgtips77 Age: 36
Location: England
Legendary Forza car design maker, consistent performer on Forza. Usually found slugging it out with Raingod and Wackybar behind the top three or four. Unbelievably also a Rookie at Ruff 1. Difficult to predict, but is capable of surprises.
Prediction: 8th
Bradyboy4593 Age: Unknown
Location: Unknown
Little is known about the second newest Ruffian. Is he a plant, a ringer? Does he support Arsenal or Spurs. Will Baw like or loath him? Is he actually the Stig? Who knows, all will be revealed on Tuesday.
Prediction: 15th (only because I have no idea who he is )
Team: POR (Princes of Racing)
PR1NC3 Age: 32
Location: England
Legendary Pizza King, not renowned for racers, more famous for taking over the mantle of right-wing wizard from RaingodZippo in Ruffians FC. However came agonizingly close to winning the WRC3 championship so could be one to watch. Rookie Ruff 1 season.
Prediction: 12th
xo lfc recon xo Age: 15
Location: England
Youngest (as far as I know) of the Ruff 1 drivers this season. What he lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm. Hasn’t really taken part in any Ruffians competitions (that I am aware of) before but has certainly proved his worth in Forza in the past. Another Rookie who will need to be watched.
Prediction: 6th
Team: Rambo Effect
NashEffect77 Age: Unknown
Location: England
Competed last time as NinjaNash for the now defunct team Legend Reme. Finished 10th, not bad considering he missed half the races. Ruffians FC striker and Ruffians Golf Captain, Nash will always be competitive, but might find himself overshadowed by his teammate this time out.
Prediction: 14th
JRambo IV Age: Unknown
Location: Scotland
Member of rival FIFA Club The Ton FC, Rambo sneaked across the divide, primarily to play Tiger Woods. If he is half as good in Ruff 1 as he is in Tiger (and his times on Singapore indicate he is) then he will certainly be the dark horse of the competition. Will he give Mike, Meh and Dark a run for their money. Only time will tell.
Prediction: 3rd
At the risk of incurring the Wrath of Baw (a bit like the Wrath of Khan without the stick-on plastic chest) I have spent my lonely hours providing a pen portrait of the drivers for this years Championship. Appologies for any wrong facts (except to Baw and Stew - all those facts are correct).
Team: D2 Racing (the Mighty Ducks): Defending Ruff 1 Team Champions
Mikethemute: Age: 28
Defending Ruff 1 Champion
Location: England
As happy playing “any” on FIFA for Ruffians FC as he is thwarting DarkestFrost on F1 or Forza. Likes green things and driving fast. Equally at home driving “live” or in time trials, could be pushed by the usual suspects and some unknown quantities but starts as favourite to retain the title.
Prediction: 1st
RaingodZippo: Age: 47
Location: Scotland
Veteran, by any sense of the word, Ruffian, equally middling at most racers (except WRC 3 at which he is shit) but due to perseverance somehow managed to finish 3rd in the last Ruff 1 Championship. Suspect at Live races and specifically targeted by the masked assassin for comments made, will struggle to repeat performance.
Prediction: 9th
Team: Darkbar Racing
DarkestFrost: Age: 33
Location: England
Essex boy racer, Championship Runner-up and the only other F1 Race winner last season besides Mike. Accident prone, usually with walls at Monaco or with RaingodZippo. Legendary Ruffians FC Goalkeeper and famous for Friday night drunken gaming, standing while gaming and falling asleep (sometimes standing up). Might struggle to retain second place with the new blood in the lineup, but if he can stay on the tarmac and out of the walls should do well.
Prediction: 4th
Wackybar: Age: Unknown
Location: England
One of only two drivers to compete in and finish all races last season (RaingodZippo was the other). Highlight was the 3rd place finish at Monaco. As close to Raingod as Dark was to Mike which made the Team championships so interesting. Should fair well this season, but constantly needs to watch out for dirty tactics from one fellow racer, who takes exception to him being a Spurs fan.
Prediction: 7th
Team: CTD Racing (Crash Test Dummies)
The MehWarrior2 Age: 20
Location: England
Unbelievably this is the Rookie season in Ruff 1 for the very fast Meh. Bothering the top of the leaderboards and leaving everyone in his dust on almost every other racer (or his white smoke on one occasion in Forza). Big question is, will he adapt to F1? Also, as the arch-nemesis of the Baw, he will need to be careful when lapping (doubt the masked one will be keeping up with him) or he might see more crash barriers than podiums.
Prediction: 2nd EDIT: Looks like Meh will miss the first race at least as CTD have failed to secure funding for a second car, I would offer to lend him mine but I don't think a Fiat Punto would cut it here.
Iceman18 Age: 23
Location: England
Possibly named after the Val Kilmer character in the rather homo-erotic Top Gun, this former airline pilot (yes he is only 23), certainly knows how to go fast. Whether he can drive fast is a different matter. Consistent in Forza, did trouble the front of the races in WRC3, but rookie at F1 so difficult to know if he can keep up that form. However as he is one of the Stewards he is a great guy.
Prediction: 10th (but he will miss races due to holidays)
Team: Sack Slashers
Ruffian Stew Age:33
Location: England
Titular leader of the Ruffian Rabble, devotee of the Driving Miss Daisy school of motor vehicle racing. Enigmatic Captain and left-winger of Ruffians FC, what more can be said about The Ruff. Without him we would all probably have lives. Ever hopeful, Stew takes part in every race of every competition and usually finishes the races...err...that’s it. Oh, finished 6th last season.
Prediction: 13th (unlucky for him)
Bawkicker Age:Unknown and best not to ask
Location: Unknown (but in a dungeon usually)
Some say he is the ancient Mayan god of violence, I am unable to repeat what others say about him, all we know is he is called Bawkicker. He never speaks (well Meh claims to have heard him once but we don’t believe him), he always joins Xbox live parties though and sits like a menacing presence in the background (imagine Hannibal Lecter in a soundproof booth). Equally capable of acts of extreme violence and expert timing on FIFA, his driving is...err...somewhat less than perfect. Has an irrational dislike of Raingod and Meh and isn’t too fond of anyone else for that matter. Rookie at F1. Hasn’t yet looked at an F1 car so unlikely to finish many races, really depends who he takes with him.
Prediction: 16th EDIT: Now has access to what is basically an unguided missile on 4 wheels...god help us all.
Team: Team Skidmark
T3ERRAF0RM Age: 37
Location: England
Another Rookie who has form in other racers. Organiser of all things Cranky racing and competitor in Forza and WRC3 to name but 2 here in Ruffland. Consistent in all racers, could pose a threat to any podium this season, depending on others’ fortunes. Talks a good game – he knows what fuel mapping is.
Prediction: 5th
thetaffman Age: Unknown
Location: England (but I presume he is Welsh)
Newest member of the Ruffian Rabble. Unknown quantity. Difficult to assess as I have never seen him drive, play football or take part in anything else. Best of luck to him. I hope Baw doesn’t have an irrational hatred of Welsh people (although he doesn’t like change and new members are change.)EDIT (Worrying signs have appeared in the Welcome Mat entry for thetaffman, either Baw has found religion or there are more sinister forces at work.)
Prediction: 11th
Team: Nub Nub Racing
Pgtips77 Age: 36
Location: England
Legendary Forza car design maker, consistent performer on Forza. Usually found slugging it out with Raingod and Wackybar behind the top three or four. Unbelievably also a Rookie at Ruff 1. Difficult to predict, but is capable of surprises.
Prediction: 8th
Bradyboy4593 Age: Unknown
Location: Unknown
Little is known about the second newest Ruffian. Is he a plant, a ringer? Does he support Arsenal or Spurs. Will Baw like or loath him? Is he actually the Stig? Who knows, all will be revealed on Tuesday.
Prediction: 15th (only because I have no idea who he is )
Team: POR (Princes of Racing)
PR1NC3 Age: 32
Location: England
Legendary Pizza King, not renowned for racers, more famous for taking over the mantle of right-wing wizard from RaingodZippo in Ruffians FC. However came agonizingly close to winning the WRC3 championship so could be one to watch. Rookie Ruff 1 season.
Prediction: 12th
xo lfc recon xo Age: 15
Location: England
Youngest (as far as I know) of the Ruff 1 drivers this season. What he lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm. Hasn’t really taken part in any Ruffians competitions (that I am aware of) before but has certainly proved his worth in Forza in the past. Another Rookie who will need to be watched.
Prediction: 6th
Team: Rambo Effect
NashEffect77 Age: Unknown
Location: England
Competed last time as NinjaNash for the now defunct team Legend Reme. Finished 10th, not bad considering he missed half the races. Ruffians FC striker and Ruffians Golf Captain, Nash will always be competitive, but might find himself overshadowed by his teammate this time out.
Prediction: 14th
JRambo IV Age: Unknown
Location: Scotland
Member of rival FIFA Club The Ton FC, Rambo sneaked across the divide, primarily to play Tiger Woods. If he is half as good in Ruff 1 as he is in Tiger (and his times on Singapore indicate he is) then he will certainly be the dark horse of the competition. Will he give Mike, Meh and Dark a run for their money. Only time will tell.
Prediction: 3rd
Last edited by RaingodZippo on Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:01 pm; edited 5 times in total
